Valentine's Day After Kids- Expectations vs Reality

When I was still dating, going through the usual number of boyfriends (I have had 2 serious relationships before my partner), Valentine's Day was an occasion I looked forward to. Yes, we went on the usual romantic dinner, movie, or wine drinking dates that most couples would plan on February 14. Unfortunately, as time progressed and Valentine's Day became a very popular "holiday" here in the Philippines, it was difficult to get "romantic". Restaurants were jam-packed with couples, reservations were hard to get, movie theatres had a long line of couples waiting, parks crowded, hotels fully booked, and the worst- TRAFFIC! It's not very romantic when you are stuck in traffic trying to get to your reservation on time.

My partner and I, that is, when we were still dating, would celebrate Valentine's Day on February the 15th. This is the time when flower prices have gone down, restaurants are empty, no long queue to the cinema, bars had a few patrons, and traffic was almost nonexistent. We made that our habit and had a great time celebrating the day of hearts although belated.

Now, that I have a son, I treat Valentine's Day like it were Christmas- basically for the kids or younger adults. It's difficult for my partner and me to continue the tradition of celebrating Valentine's Day as a couple- that's the reality of it. To tell you honestly, I don't feel sad or envious of other couples who do celebrate Valentine's Day. I like the fact that Valentine's Day isn't going out of style. I'm just at that part of my life that I am truly happy to be with my partner and my son. And I don't need a couples shirt to advertise the fact.

So what's the reality of most parents when it comes to Valentine's Day? Let me count the ways...

1.
Expectation: A romantic dinner and movie for 2.
Reality: "I can't find a babysitter. All the babysitters have plans to go out. Even my mom and dad (grandparents) can't watch the kids. They have plans too."

Romantic dinner.
Image credit: OpenClipArt

- Scratch the plans to go out. When you can't find anyone to look after the kids then, might as well stay home. You can plan the romantic date when they are a bit older. Even, your mom and dad had to wait.☺

2.
Expectation: I'm dressing up tonight.
Reality: I can't find anything to wear. I'll just do my nails and shave my legs. That will do.

- Truth be told, most of my cocktail dresses are now a bit small. Talk about body fit. And when I look at myself in the mirror- it's just not me. I would rather wear jeans and a T-shirt with sneakers sans the make-up and hairdo. I'm more comfortable that way. 

3.

Expectation: I'm cooking his/her favorite dish for Valentine's Day and making it a romantic dinner for the whole family.

Reality: Let's just order delivery. I deserve a rest from cooking.

Chinese take-out.
Image credit: OpenClipArt

- Yup, most parents think it's a holiday when they get time off from cooking, cleaning, laundry, and most household chores. Eating takeout/delivery is a great reward. 

4.

Expectation:

For Moms: It's Valentine's Day. He'll be getting me roses and some chocolates.

For Dads: It's Valentine's Day. She'll be getting me something special.

Reality:

For Moms: Dear, I got you some socks. Yours were full of holes. Happy Valentine's Day!

For Dads: Dear, I forgot that it was Valentine's Day. I just brought you some candy hearts I got from the office. Happy Valentine's Day!

- It's the thought that counts. ☺

Box of chocolates.
Image credit: OpenClipArt

5.

Expectation: We won't be sleeping tonight. Wink! Wink!

Reality: "Oh, it feels good to get to bed early. Good night, dear!" (zzzzzzzz....)

- Sleep...that's the best reward us parents can get. "Extracurricular activities" aren't exactly on the top of the priority list. Seems boring but, sleeping side by side is as romantic as going out on a romantic dinner for 2.

I know what you are thinking. It's like we lost the SPARK. In reality, we parents celebrate Valentine's Day every day and celebrate in the little things that make us love each other more. We just had to make a few adjustments. Anyway, when we look at our kids- we see the proof of that LOVE...and NOTHING can beat that.

The Tired Mama would like to greet everyone a Happy Valentine's Day! Have a great time celebrating the Day of Hearts! Cheers!